Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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