you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I still have a little drunk in my system
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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