I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
