Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I pour the whiskey from now on
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
