The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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