He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
