I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
