Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
