You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize