Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
