I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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