She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
