she was so not down for the gang bang
Soap is not a condiment
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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