dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
