Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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