when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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