I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
