There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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