she looked like the bat from fern gully.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
