i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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