Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
