i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
