Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
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It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
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I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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