you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
