Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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