What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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