Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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