wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
