my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
