Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
