I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
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