for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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