i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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