I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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