If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you inspire me to be a worse person
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
