I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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