Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
