shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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