she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
