You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
