he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
