HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
