Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
