went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
