You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
