their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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