Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
