I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
