dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
