i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize