Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
