It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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