Just fell off a train. Bad.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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