I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize