he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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