just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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