Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
