Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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