I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
