I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
