As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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