I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Shame - the story of my life.
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