i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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