he looks like a really good dad on facebook
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
